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The NOT Serious Candidates to be Wake Forest’s Next Head Basketball Coach

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A little humor during this time of constantly refreshing Twitter for updates

Syracuse v Wake Forest Photo by Lance King/Getty Images

We put out a list of the real potential coaching candidates earlier in the week, which you can find here.

But in the midst of waiting, I thought it would be fun to ask on Twitter who people might want to see on a list of NON serious candidates for the position. Here’s what you guys came up with:

The Demon Deacon

COLLEGE BASKETBALL: JAN 23 Duke at Wake Forest Photo by Andy Mead/YCJ/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

THE biggest Wake Forest fan ever, there would be ZERO question of his love for and commitment to Wake Forest, as well as no lack of enthusiasm. He seems to hold his own in the annual mascot game at the ACC Tournament, so maybe he has a decent understanding of basketball and what it would take to win. And how cool would it be for a coach to ride out on a motorcycle before every game for his introduction? His communication skills may be a little weak though, as he never talks to anyone and uses hand gestures and head nods for his only form of communication. That may be a problem when communicating a gameplan to the players.

Roy Williams

North Carolina v Notre Dame Photo by Michael Hickey/Getty Images

Roy is on this list only to troll the Carolina fans who kept calling for him to either resign or retire during their downturn this season. If you don't want a coach who has won 885 games, 3 National Championships, and been to 9 Final Fours, we would have gladly switched coaches this past season.

Air Bud

SoulPancake’s Puppypalooza Party Photo by Tasia Wells/Getty Images

Credit for this suggestion to John Walsh.

John Currie had better stock up on plenty of treats for this good boy. Would we become the first ever NCAA team with an all K-9 starting five, assuming Air Bud recruits other dogs instead of people? Does Air Bud get four “pawses” a game instead of four timeouts (credit to John again for that pun)?

Ya Boy Stan Cotten

Nominated by both himself and others, Ya Boy would be an interesting pick. Postgame interviews and coach shows between Stan Cotten and Ya Boy Stan Cotten would become very confusing and yet entertaining trying to figure out which Stan was talking. Stan has seen and called plenty of basketball through the years, so I’m sure he could help Ya Boy out when needed with a few suggestions.

Bobby Hoekstra with Steve Lavin Slicked Back Hair

North Carolina v Wake Forest Photo by Brian A. Westerholt/Getty Images

Hoekstra was nominated with the caveat that he had to slick back his hair Steve Lavin style, and later gave his blessing to this suggestion. For those who want a connection to the Skip Prosser and Dino Gaudio eras, Hoekstra played under both coaches, albeit as a walk-on. Probably the most ardent supporter of the 2008-09 team, Hoekstra’s passion and energy on the bench was unrivaled by any. The only question here is that his one NCAA Tournament appearance ended with a first round loss, though given the other candidates that may not be too much of an issue. He certainly has a knowledge of the systems and plays that Prosser and Gaudio used to run. Maybe he could even get current coaches and former teammates Mike Lepore and John Buck to come on as assistants!

Shooter from Hoosiers

Nominated by Richard Smith.

He drew up the play to lead the Hickory Hoosiers to a win that would eventually give them a championship, so maybe he could lead Wake Forest to a championship! And we could run the picket fence! How cool would it be to see Wake Forest run the picket fence?!?!?

Wake Forest Baseball Player Chris Lanzilli

Nominated by Conor O’Neill.

Lanzilli has stipulated that Conor must be an assistant coach if he takes the job, and has already announced himself as the new coach on Twitter. Expect a press release soon.

His lack of basketball experience is a little bit concerning, but hey. He definitely knows Wake Forest and quite possibly could be the first ever to coach a Power 6 basketball team and play on a Power 6 baseball team at the same time! Not sure how Conor coaching and covering Wake Forest sports works, but I’m sure he will find a way to make it work!

Coach Klein from The Waterboy

Not sure how much, if any, basketball coaching experience he has, but he is a great motivator. Apparently he has a buyout as he just signed his contract extension with the Muddgogs, but it can't be that much. Would lead to some entertainment on the sideline for sure.

Dick Vitale

San Francisco v Gonzaga Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images

I would say age is a factor given that Vitale is 80, but he never seems to age. He has more passion and energy than guys half his age does, would have ZERO problem getting recruits due to his name recognition, knows more about college basketball than many people have forgotten, and would bring an unparalleled level of energy to the program. And we could probably get every single game on ESPN just like Duke does now. He would be AWESOME, BABY! Might get ejected from games for his takes on calls by referees though.

Mike Darrow

He’s won a championship as a coach. Sounds good to me!

Ronnie 2K

2020 NBA All-Star - Celebrity Game Presented By Ruffles Photo by Jeff Haynes/NBAE via Getty Images

Nominated by SamuraiFoochs.

Ronnie 2K has been the face of the NBA2K video games from 2KSports for several years now. He knows a lot about the game virtually and has played in the NBA Celebrity All Star Game, but how well would that translate to coaching college basketball? College basketball is becoming more like the NBA all the time, but there are still a lot of differences. Could he be successful as a coach?

Have I missed anyone? Who would you all pick as the next coach? Comment below with your humorous choice.