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A Non-Exhaustive List Of Ways Olivier Sarr May Have Gained 40 Pounds This Offseason

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I am amazed. Olivier Sarr isn’t human.

NCAA Basketball: Wake Forest at Syracuse Mark Konezny-USA TODAY Sports

So, Olivier Sarr got jacked:

I don’t understand how this is possible, but I’ve been thinking. Here are some of my ideas as for how this is possible,

  • Super Shredder Ooze
  • Super Soldier Serum, a la Steve Rogers
  • Presence of X Gene
  • Charles Barkley Diet
  • Hyperbolic Time Chamber
  • Olivier ate Brandon Childress
  • Distant relation to Andre The Giant
  • Olivier is actually Teen Wolf and is also super hairy now
  • Special Wonderland cakes
  • Gamma Radiation
  • Olivier was weighed in Kevlar clothes
  • Issues with conversion from kilograms (he’s French, after all)
  • Shaq gave him some in a revolutionary weight transference program
  • Reverse hunger strike
  • Stress eating due to Bryant Crawford’s departure
  • They weighed Doral Moore instead and got confused
  • Olivier ACTUALLY had a toy rocket in his pocket on the scale
  • There’s some French mega growth spurt I wasn’t aware of
  • The power of the three demandments of Hulkamania
  • He was inspired to get a compliment from Booker T (okay, no more wrestling jokes, I promise)
  • He just now discovered Cookout shakes and can’t stop
  • Hard work and proper diet. What? It’s possible.

Got any other possibilities? Share them in the comments. I’ll go back to shaking my head in disbelief.

—SF