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The Official BSD NBA Draft Drinking Game

By Riley Johnston

***WE ARE STILL DOING THE ONES CROSSED OUT, JUST FOR OUR OWN ACCURACY PURPOSES WE ARE CROSSING THEM OUT AS THEY OCCUR***

This is what every fan that has a moderate interest in the Draft tonight has been waiting for. I am not a huge NBA Draft fan, but when you add drinking game to a sporting event, even one that you do not care about, fun is had by all

Without further ado, here are the rules for tonight's NBA Draft compiled by Martin Rickman and myself.

Click through for rules...

ONE DRINK

  • Anytime an analyst says: upside, length, motor, intangibles, Knicks fans, mentions of busts, tweener, sleeper, character, athleticism, wingspan, diaper dandies, floor leader, scorer, basketball IQ, versatility 
  • Whenever a player thanks God.
  • Anytime Jay Bilas says "Best Available" (or anybody for that matter if you want to get really drunk)
  • Anytime the John Wall Dance is shown 
  • Anytime a European player is drafted
  • Anytime a relative nobody is drafted and the line "I just don't understand this pick at all" is said (or something of that nature). (NOT QUITE BUT CLOSE)
  • When a trade occurs you must take a drink
  • If a player's relative cries take a drink; if the mother cries and is shouting the gospels take another drink.
  • Anytime a Jay-Z song is played at all.
  • If boos are audible after a pick take a drink; if the Knicks are booing drink 2.
  • If analysts say that DeMarcus Cousins would be a sure-fire top 5 draft pick if he had a better attitude. (ACTUALLY WAS A TOP 5 MISSED HERE)
Two Drinks
  • Anytime somebody drafted is wearing a white, purple or red suit
  • If the Jordan/Bowie picks are mentioned specifically
  • If there is an absurdly huge watch on a draft pick
  • When a draft pick has no idea where to go once they get drafted
  • If the draft is delayed for more than 5 seconds because the player is on the phone or texting when drafted
  • When a draft pick looks very awkward, or just bad in the hat they put on.
  • Every time "Empire State of Mind is played"
  • If the Spurs get an extremely good player at their spot (See DeJuan Blair last year)
  • If a trade occurs involving an All-Star from this year.
  • Anytime Blake Griffin is mentioned
  • If a players name is absolutely butchered drink two. If it is not a European name drink another one for the stupidity of the analysts.
Three Drinks
  • If they show Spike Lee. If he is yelling at Reggie Miller finish the fifth/handle/keg.
Finish Your Drink
  • If Kobe is traded* DRINK UNTIL YOU THROW UP*
  • If the Suns or Spurs trade somebody for cash (CLOSE--DALLAS DID)
  • If Renaldo Balkman or Darko Milicic is mentioned 
  • If a bow tie is worn by a draft pick
  • If DeMarcus Cousins does something very, very stupid when he is drafted (DID NOT HAPPEN SURPRISINGLY)
  • If John Wall does the John Wall dance when drafted
  • If John Wall doesn't go first overall
  • If Stephen A. Smith makes an appearance 
  • If a curse word slips by and makes it out there.
  • If somebody has a vuvuzela
* Wake Forest Specific Drinks*
  • If Aminu gets drafted before the Clippers @ #8 *TAKE 2 DRINKS*
  • If Ed Davis goes before AFA *TAKE 2 DRINKS*
  • If Aminu is referred to as a "tweener" *TAKE 2 DRINKS*
  • If Ish Smith or Chas McFarland is drafted *FINISH YOUR DRINKS*
  • When they say Al-Farouq Aminu incorrectly *TAKE 3 DRINKS*
  • If they say that Al-Farouq Aminu translated means "The Chief Has Arrived" *FINISH YOUR DRINK*
  • If they say that Al-Farouq Aminu comes from a line of Nigerian royalty *FINISH YOUR DRINK*
  • If they call "Chas", "Chaz" when talking about him *TAKE 5 DRINKS*
  • If they reference Ish Smith in relation to speed/quickness *TAKE 5 DRINKS*
And there you have it. Now you can watch the draft and have a fun game to play while listening to the analysts babble incessantly over whether DeMarcus Cousins or Derrick Favors is more likely to be the next Dwight Howard you can have something to wash it down with.