Yahoo! Blogger Writes Predictable 'ACC Is Terrible' Post

CHAPEL HILL, NC - SEPTEMBER 01: Giovani Bernard #26 of the North Carolina Tar Heels races untouched down the sideline for a touchdown against the Elon Phoenix during play at Kenan Stadium on September 1, 2012 in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. (Photo by Grant Halverson/Getty Images)

oh hey didn't you guys know that the ACC is the worst conference ever and no one is good and every year the ACC is disappointing and the world is ending and look at that BCS bowl record (ewwww) and Clemson just gave up another touchdown to West Virginia and Florida State is sad and haha Virginia Tech always loses to teams like JMU and Duke lost to Richmond can you believe that

Haha just kidding.

Oh wait, someone actually wrote an article saying that again, despite the ACC having one of its better conference-wide weeks to start the season in recent memory?

And that someone is on Dr. Saturday, Yahoo!'s college football blog?

Well, you don't say?

At least the top of the ACC had a decent start to the season.

Clemson had a statement victory, beating Auburn at the Georgia Dome. Florida State and North Carolina romped against their FCS opponents.

Oh here we go again. Also, do you remember that usually doesn't happen in the first place?

But the bottom half of the conference had a discouraging weekend, which continues a worrisome trend for the ACC that began last January.

What was discouraging about a 9-3 first weekend in which two of the three losses were in actual conference games and the teams that were supposed to win actually won? Also, which worrisome trend in the ACC began last January? This sentence makes no sense. If there is a worrisome trend, it's been going on for way longer than that. Be consistent.

The ACC posted a 2-6 record in bowl games last year, and nobody has forgotten Clemson's 70-33 loss in the Orange Bowl to West Virginia. The conference apparently didn't get much better in the offseason.

Oh this January. Got it. That's not really a trend; that was a year. One year highlighted by a singular example isn't a trend at all. So either it continued a trend that began prior to this January or started an entirely new trend, and you're predicting the future. If that is the case, when is the next time Cleveland will win a championship? I want to know when I can start believing again.

The start of the college football season is a time when even middling teams in supposed power conferences roll over their opponents. Instead, Week 1 was downright embarrassing for the ACC.

Was it? Define embarrassing for me. Never mind, I'll do it.

1. Causing embarrassment: "an embarrassing muddle".

2. Creating difficulties, esp. for a political party or public figure.

Synonym: awkward

Don't think last week was very awkward or difficult. Was it a little bit scary at times? Yeah. Was it smooth sailing? Not exactly. N.C. State could have looked better against Tennessee, but those early season non-con games are a peculiar breed. Tennessee looked more prepared and blew the doors off State, which got an uncharacteristically bad performance from the secondary. It happens.

Wake had to edge out Liberty (and I actually was embarrassed about that). BC lost to Miami, and Miami surprised me and looked better than I thought they were. Hell, Boston College had a nice half and Chase Rettig showed me something. UNC looked good. VT and GT played a game that really belonged in late October. Virginia had no problems with Richmond. Florida State took care of business. Duke dominated a pretty good FIU team. Clemson had the best win of the weekend and admittedly gave the ACC as a whole a lot of pride.

So where is this embarrassment coming from? Oh yeah, let's choose the easy one:

Maryland edged out FCS opponent William & Mary by a razor-thin score of 7-6. It wasn't a fluke either - the Tribe outgained Maryland on the ground and the Terrapins had five turnovers. William & Mary led 6-0 in the fourth quarter.

Usually upbeat to a fault, Maryland head coach Randy Edsall said after the game, "It wasn't pretty but it's a win."

True, but that won't help the ACC's Q score very much.

Note: the article originally had W&M as the Dukes, which is JMU's mascot. Close enough, right? Might as well called them the Spiders and gotten it over with. Not every small school in Virginia is interchangeable, if you can believe it.

Maryland started a true freshman with a bunch of new personnel. We all knew it wasn't going to be pretty. And at the end of the day, as ugly as it was, it still was a win for Maryland and Rangoon. If they lost, you'd have written this same article and left out the 'edged out' and 'it's a win' part. If N.C. State had won, I bet you'd have written this article anyway, too. Just be honest with me, when was this post scheduled? Yesterday? Last week before the games were played? In February?

Well, the ACC is disappointing and embarrassing and they suck hard and they're not as good as the SEC and here we go again ...

Did you even watch the games? Did you?

Then Virginia Tech managed to barely get past Georgia Tech in an overtime win on national television. The Hokies came into the game ranked No. 16 in the AP poll but looked sloppy in their 20-17 home win over a Yellow Jackets program with very average expectations this year.

Haha. And then in a conference game where both teams always fight each other hard one team beat another team. It was sloppy because it was week one. Talk about spinning. If you'd had the sound on Monday evening (assuming of course the game was on your television set), you'd have heard freshman after freshman called at the skill positions for VT. They're working in new personnel. The defenses for both teams played very good football, and the Hokies even winning in September is a new refrain.

That's not continuing a trend at all.

And then there's this: Help isn't exactly on its way.

Last season, the Big East was raided by the ACC, which snagged Pittsburgh and Syracuse. They'll be gone in 2013. Then again, judging from their Week 1 performances, Big East football might be better off without them.

Oh, lord.

First off, what does this have to do with the ACC -- right now? Both teams are still in the Big East. Help isn't on the way lololol. Way to reduce a complicated issue to a trite platitude.

Syracuse was in a high scoring game that looked an awful lot like the Orange's opener against Wake Forest last year that could have gone either way. There was a late penalty that was questionable.

The Orange committed 12 penalties in a 42-41 loss at home to plebeian Big Ten program Northwestern.

I don't think you know what the word plebeian means. That's not the correct usage there.

That was a pretty good performance compared to Pitt, which lost 31-17 to FCS program Youngstown State at home. Pitt never even led in that game. Youngstown State hadn't beaten a team from the FBS in a dozen years.

Yeah that loss was bad. But there's a new head coach at Pitt. You conveniently left that out. Also, Pitt is still in the Big East. It's a bad loss for the Big East. And it's not even that bad a loss. Did you see how good Louisville looked against Kentucky? Did you happen to notice how dangerous and dominating West Virginia was in its win?

From the early returns, it looks like last year's dismal postseason mark was just a sign of things to come for the ACC.

Yeah, okay. Early returns on this article are poor, as well. Just check Twitter for that one.

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