Sometimes this whole blogging thing is actually fun. And today was one of those times. I tossed out the idea to Gobbler Country to see if he wanted to do a Q&A today before the game. His response was:
Needless to say, that was a great start. So we met up for a gchat since a Q&A seemed lame for this epic matchup. And what transpired was some strange mixture of pop culture references, chain restaurant discussions and Justin Bieber.
WARNING: SOME LANGUAGE NSFW
See the madness after the jump...
Gobbler: So what the fuck is this "basketball" shit? Shouldn't you guys be more concerned about if Steed is going to call plays next year?
me: At this point, that's all I'm concerned about.
I think we need to drop basketball all together. We're a football school, right?
Gobbler: Notice that I didn't even attempt to spell your OC's last name.
me: It's Lobo-something. Even I'm too lazy to Google it sometimes.
Gobbler: At this point I think Wake is a field hockey school.
me: Or women's soccer.
Hey, great job with your OC hire btw.... [rolls eyes]
Gobbler: Yeah, but wasn't your women's soccer team kind of disappointing this year?
me: Naw man, women's soccer won the ACC!
Gobbler: Oh dear God, the O'Cain Mutiny? Wait. Wait. Can we put this on hold while I artificially insert that into a headline/
me: Absolutely. Take your time.
Gobbler: I'll do it later.
me: Back to this basketball thing--so was Eddie's weed yours? Was he just holding onto it for you or something?
I have been advised by my legal counsel not to comment.
me: Got it.
Did your counsel allow you to comment on the events of Saturday afternoon?
Gobbler: We lost to a team that fucking lost to Wake. WAKE! Can you belie.... oh, wait. I forgot who I was talking to.
me: Well you have a point there.
Gobbler: Oh jeez, I forgot all about that. Thanks for reminding me.
me: That's a combined KenPom of like 500 or something.
Gobbler: It's hard to lose to a team like that twice. But if someone was going to do it, it was going to be Seth.
me: He's really something. So is the posturing going to happen again? Or will Seth just admit this year that he biffed it again?
Gobbler: Oh you only think you've seen posturing. Wait until we get another No. 1 seed in the NIT this year. You know, I'm almost rooting that we don't make the tournament just to see what he says.
me: "Well I think we played a schedule as good as anyone in the country. And we finished [9-7?] in one of the toughest conferences in the country. I think our resume stacks up against just about any other team out there."
Gobbler: If he does that again this year, he'll get skewered. Not just nationally this time. The locals will turn on him if he goes on TV and acts like he did last year.
me: I think Malcolm Delaney might actually go insane--he'll pull a Dave Chappelle, move to Liberia and just hole up playing Call Of Duty 18 hours a day.
Gobbler: How different would that be than now?
me: Uhhh... Fewer Cheddar Biscuits out there?
Gobbler: And lower Internet speed. I bet COD players in Liberia have to deal with a shit ton of buffering or lag time.
Of course, people in Liberia have their own COD. They call it, "life."
How many years does Seth have to finally get there before he gets thrown to the curb?
This recruiting class is pretttyyyyyy good...
Gobbler: At least two more. Like you said, the recruiting class. Of course if he messes that up, we could always hire Tad Boyle.
me: Tad The Rad, as I like to call him.
So, this game is being played or something tonight. Are you going to watch it or find a better use for your time?
Gobbler: Well, I told the fiancee I'd taker out to eat, not realizing the game was televised. I figured if we were playing Wake there was no way it wasn't going to be one of those "streamed on theACC.com!" games.
Gobbler: So I'll catch the end or something. Unless we have to go to Home Depot. I DON'T KNOW IF WE'LL HAVE TIME.
me: Applebee's! It's a win-win! It's all good in the hood!
Gobbler: I refuse to eat at Applebee's. There are very few places that I just flat out boycott, but Applebee's and Red Lobster are two of them.
me: Then we're on the same page. I hate Applebee's so, so much. It's like Chili's, but worse.
Gobbler: And with worse service.
Ironically, the last Applebee's I ever went to was in W-S.
me: Well that one blows dong. We waited an hour for our food, they brought out the wrong order for one peep and cold food for another.
Gobbler: It was the night before the 2006 football game, you know, the one where you guys thought you were good and we beat the shit out of you?
me: Oh yeah that one! That really went well...
me: I enjoyed winning the ACC that year instead.
It's like seeing Haley's Comet.
Gobbler: It really is. If Rutgers had won the Big East that year and the OB was Wake-Rutgers a friend of mine and I were going to go and demand they let us in for free.
me: Well Taylor Hicks performed
So it was pretty great.
He won American Idol, you know.
Gobbler: Is that the show with Doogie Howser?
me: I think it's that one where that British guy just makes fun of people and Ryan Seacrest steals people's souls.
Gobbler: Didn't he play Blair on Facts of Life?
I could do this all night.
me: I thought it was Natalie...
Can confirm it was NOT Trudy
Gobbler: Alright, enough about how Seacrest looks like a woman. Back to this EPIC CONTEST.
me: Oh yeah oh yeah
So Wake goes up 4-2...it's fun and games till the 10 minute mark
Gobbler: We're gonna like, win, right?
me: Wake goes on a 5-0 run
Then you guys go on a 12-0 run to end the half
Score a quick 4 in the second half, Wake makes a little push, then you wear us down until you can put your walk-ons in.
So yes, in as many words, you are going to win.
Gobbler: We only have eight scholarship players, so we get to the walks on pretty quick.
me: That's okay, we only have eight scholarship players before we play that European guy who fouls every 10 seconds, so it's pretty much the same thing.
Is there any way you screw this up? ANY?
Gobbler: It probably wasn't in your best interest that we lost to UVa. I'll put it that way.
me: So you're saying some kind of 90-65 game, huh?
Gobbler: Yeah, it'll be over by the time I order my Molten Chocolate Cake from Chili's.
me: Although, it really might be over before you order your Awesome Blossom honestly.
Gobbler: Depends on if there's a wait. It's a Tuesday so I hope not.
me: I'll send some good vibes your way.
Gobbler: I appreciate it.
me: Which will be higher? The number of points Delaney scores...or the total of your bill?
Gobbler: Delaney. Even if I order ribs, I'm going with Delaney.
So, what on earth did Wake fans do to deserve this sports season?
me: I don't know. I just don't know. My 2010 sports teams tried to ruin my life...the Cavs, Browns, Indians, Wake's football and Wake's basketball have probably won a collective 90 games and 70 of them were Indians wins.
I wonder if we tore down some haunted house or are building our new dorm on an Indian Burial Ground.
Gobbler: I can't think of another school where it went this far south in both football and basketball this quickly. I mean, UVa's was a slow, steady decline into suckdom.
me: Whatever it is, the only way through it is to drink heavily.
me: Well, enjoy your meal. This has been fun. Just tell Davila to take it easy on us on your way out the door.
Gobbler: Thank you and I will. Oh, and when you post this, make sure you put "Justin Beiber Girlfriend" in the headline for SEO purposes. I want to make sure that Seacrest sees all the mean things I said about him.
me: I will. I'll make sure to throw Zac Effron, Miley Cyrus and Egypt in there too.